


Infertility

by Ribbonshalos



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 20:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16730268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribbonshalos/pseuds/Ribbonshalos
Summary: Mercy believes herself to be unable to have children despite her and Genji's attempts, but a sickness is starting to make her rethink so.





	Infertility

“I’m sorry, Angela.”

She sits still. Taking in her colleague’s words as if they echoed from a cave. Cool and distant. Eerie and unfeeling.

Her own eyes scanned her own charts and test. She read them a thousand times over. The same result every time. His answers were no different. The same conclusion read even more terribly with his confirming words.

“Thank you… for your help.” Mercy speaks quietly, as if in a trance.

She stands and leaves. Her eyes wide and unseeing as she tries to understand.

She is known to the world as Doctor Ziegler. The angel who saves those bleeding on the battlefield. Able to save lives and keep more from being lost. Again and again she has fought against the destruction this world throws at the souls inhabiting it. Going as far as to experiment on her own body, making sure she can selfheal if injury and keep helping those who need help.

It cost her though. More than she ever knew until now.

She can watch her own wounds close up. She can bring soldiers on the brink of death back to fighting conditions. She can save thousands of lives.

But she cannot bear her own baby.

*

The initial fear of Genji’s reaction was not required. His words were soft and gentle as she broke. Opening her heart and lungs while the tidal wave of grief swept her away. He promised again and again that they don’t need a baby to be happy. They have each other. He has her. That’s all he needs.

Ana steadied her. Promising days of sunshine and Genji’s hand around her’s without any holes poking through her chest. Memories of young Fareeha running around the base still dance through her mind of what could have been. Hardly able to set aside her own damage.

Reinhardt hugged her and spoke in her native tongue. Children isn’t everything, and they are plenty of other kids around here to mother. Not that she doesn’t already. It made her smile for a moment, but that too crumbled to ash.

They tried for so long. Both kissing and touching one night when Mercy whispered that she wanted a baby. He stilled, and she worried he wasn’t ready. The smile that followed stay in the back of her mind for days. His words whispering that they should have one then. But it took nine months for her to decide that it wasn’t working. Something was wrong.

Something was wrong with her.

Some nights she would awake from a dream where Genji’s eyes looked up at her with the sweetest face. Babbling incohrente words besides ‘Mommy’. Genji’s smile while rocking the small one to sleep. Her sobbing on the pillow would always wake him up. His arms quickly pulled her close, and pleaded for her to not be sad.

Whisper apologies would slip between her cries. To him. To her mistake. To a baby that would never be called their own. Genji makes her stop apologizing. Saying there’s no need for that.

“My angel, we will make it through this. I’m with you.”

She doesn’t know if she will.

* 

A year passes, and Mercy’s tears have stopped. The grief still feeds on her heart, but Genji is the only one to sense her broken chest. When she stills and looks to the ground. Sometimes clutching her flat stomach, he’ll take her hands gently and whisper about his love for her.

His kisses drives the darkness away. The tight grasp she has on those happy days is strong, but it somehow slips form her fingertips every so often. Reminding her of the bitter loss she created.

This morning brings urgency. Bolting out of bed, Mercy lunges to the bathroom in order to get to the toilet. The sickness makes her throw up, her hands clutching the rim as her body gives up whatever was left in her stomach. Genji’s presence is only known by his cool fingers pulling back her hair. The words leaving his lips only heard after the stomach acid starts burning her throat.

“Should I get Ana?” He asks her, helping her sit up against the wall. The back of her arm suffices as to wipe her mouth.

She shakes her head. The nausea is already going away. He presses his wrist to her forehead, and admits she doesn’t have a fever. Something didn’t settle in her dinner last night, she guesses.

The rest of the day is carried on as usual, but Genji brings her soup and crackers as he checks up on her. His concern endearing and warming. That night, Mercy finds herself hunting for fruit. Only ending up with a pomegranate that she and Genji split while looking at the stars.

Mercy stays up late in her lab that night. Midnight comes and so does Genji, gently tugging her hand to their bed. She doesn’t mention the slight queasiness she’s feeling. She already took something to settle her down.        

But morning only brings another mad dash to the bathroom. The toilet her holder as she lies there much longer. Her mouth tastes horribly of acid that burns her throat again. This time Genji is telling her to lie down while he gets Ana.

“Genji, heart. I’m fine. I don’t feel sick.”

“Angela, this is the second time in a row. I’m getting Ana.”

He always gets panicked, so quick to try and protect her. Her fingers catches his before he leaves, telling him to stay with her until she settle downs. He listens, using a damp cloth to clean her mouth and brow.

As she rests, she thinks back on the food she’s eaten. Dinner had different times each night. Food poisoning is nearly impossible twice in a row. The medicine should have helped, but it only lasted the night. She truly doesn’t feel sick, but the throwing up is persistent, and Genji refuses to let her travel by herself until she agrees to go see Ana. He has a mission today, and she swears that she’ll still be breathing when he gets back.

His worry will sometimes consume him, but her touch has already calmed his excited soul.

Kissing his face helm goodbye, she lies down for the duration of the morning. Noting that she is abnormally tired for sleeping so peacefully last night. Staying up late has always been a vice of hers, but never to this exhausting degree. Sleeping for two hours, she chastises herself for wasting time before finding Ana. The older women a familiar and comforting sight.

“How’s Genji doing, Mercy?” Her good eye shining as they settle down in her lab.

“Well, besides fretting over me.” She answers fondly, a ghost of a smile to her lips.

“Oh?”

“I’ve been vomiting. The past two mornings in a row in fact. Last night I felt slightly nauseated, but I took medication to help.”

Ana’s brow narrows in thought. “Only in the morning?” She clarifies.

Her own expression twists to show her frustration. “Yes, but I haven’t experienced any other symptoms. No fever. No headaches.”

Her medical expertise greatly outranks the older women, but a second opinion can help one see what is directly in front of their face.

“No other symptoms besides the throwing up?” Ana presses, looking over her for a moment as to find any signs herself.

Mercy breathes out a sigh. Any information withheld can affect whether she gets treated properly, even the smallest details.

“There has been slight fatigued, but that is usual in my case.”

The sniper’s face lowers for a moment, her hands linking together in her lap as her thoughts tumble around.            

“When did you last have your menstruation?” She asks easily, meeting her gaze though the question makes Mercy starts for a moment.

“A…” She hesitates while in thought, “A month and a half ago.”

The nausea.

Ana’s brow arches, thoughtful and sharp.

“You’re late?”

“I occasionally have irregular cycles due to stress, Ana. This is not unusual.” She answers quickly, as if afraid of not convincing the older women.

The vomiting only in the morning.

“Hmph,” the women hums for a moment. The look crossing on her face set and bright. “Six weeks is usually when morning sickness starts.”

The tiredness.

“No,” she says sharply. Narrowing her brow as she looks to Ana. “I am not—you know I can’t have a…”

Her words die in her throat. Never before has she experienced such sickness. Coming and going with ease nor has her menstruation been this behind. Her fingers dig into the cloth of her sweater for a moment. The words not registering in her mind.

“Mercy, you know how to test for this. Go and make sure.” Her words are gentle but firm, leaving no room for argument.

But Mercy is not in the mood for such games.

“No. I know what it will read. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some work down. The door is open.”

She stands, turning her back until the soft swish of the lab closing up with only her inside echoes. Her eyes stinging at the suggestion of Ana’s. Going over again and again the charts and procedures to see if she was able to conceive.

Quick tears fall, and shaky hands smear them across her cheeks.

*

Genji gets to their bed late. Mercy has not slept, lying wide awake on her side until his gentle touch brushes her cheek. His hello kiss touches her skin, and she surprises him with her own lips.

 “My apologies, my angel. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wanted to see you, heart,” she answers softly. Her hands trail down his side, her lips tasting his neck. “I’ve missed you.”

He whispers her name, and gently pulls her closer.

The night is spent in each other’s arms.

The rising sun touches her skin as she lies on top of him. A too large shirt the only thing covering her body. Her eyes slowly blink, before she sees his smile. Then her mind registers the nausea.

The toilet is becoming her companion at this point. A routine settling down between them as Genji easily brushes her hair back from the vomit. The tension in his muscles is noticeable, and he asks about what Ana said during their visit.

The nausea.

The mood swings.

Mercy shakes her head even though she is resting it between her knees.

She is infertile. She can’t have a baby. She simply can’t. This is another disease, and she will diagnose it properly and become well again. There is no hope in her chest for the alternative. There is no possibility of this being anything other than illness.

She can’t let herself hope, just to have it die in front of her eyes. Not after all this time.  

Mercy lies, saying Ana gave her some medicine to help. But it takes a few days to take effect. It taste similar to the acid making her throat ache, but Genji believes it. Her insides twist for a different reason.

With much convincing he goes off, leaving her time to ponder in her lab. Her fingers shakes as she takes skin samples and test for any disease she can think of. In the end, its useless. Nothing is showing up on the charts. She sits at her desk for a moment, her mind wondering in her skull as her fingers lace together over her mouth.

It’s silly to even do, but she has to make certain.

Drawing her own blood, she begins running it through tests. Her fingers shaking as she reads the charts over.

And she reads them again.

And again.

Her eyes scan through the same mark of hormones in her blood. Hormones women only have when pregnant.

Her hands tangle through her hair. Her teeth nearly cutting through her bottom lip at the pressure she’s applies. Tears prick at the corner of her eyes. Closing them away from the paper and the truth.

She is infertile. She can’t have a baby.

Her fingers lower from her mouth. Reaching down slowly. As if afraid of what she’ll find if she tries to see any difference in her belly.

Snatching her own hand away, she roughly stands up. The lab door swooshing behind her as she looks for Ana, knowing one last resort that will put to rest this insanity.

*

The pulse of her heartbeat echoes in her eardrums. Loud and anxious as she stretches out on the table. Ana already has slathered the ultrasound gel on her exposed stomach. Her eyes keep away from glancing over it, not wanting to see if there’s the smallest change to her belly.  

Gently, the older women places the probe against her skin. Angling it as the monitor lights up with the static black and white colors.

Ana speaks out loud, saying that’s it been a long time since she’s done this. Mercy barely registers her words, eyes glue to the screen and the picture shifts. Stilling her hand, Ana’s lips raise in a smile.

A small white figure, a peanut in shape displays on the screen. Her lips tremble as she breathes out.

She is infertile. She can’t have a baby.

But that is her baby right there.

“Ana…” She whispers, no longer able to comprehend without help. “I can’t… I shouldn’t be able to have… a baby. How…” Her words are breathless and lost to her own shock.

Placing the probe away, Ana gives Mercy a cloth to wipe her stomach clean of the gel. Quietly helping her sit up but holding her fingers gently between her winkled hands.

“You have performed hundreds of miracles on the battlefield. It is really so hard to believe you can do this as well?” Her one good eye sparkles.

A miracle. Her baby. Genji’s baby…

There are still consequences from what she did. It’s the only way.

“But Ana…” She pulls in a shaky breath. Her fingers tightening around hers. “This doesn’t mean it will last. I may have conceived but that doesn’t mean my body can carry… the fetus all the way to term.”

“No, we will make sure you do.” Her words are firm, leaving no room for discussion.

Mercy head bows. Too much weight crowds her shoulders. The uncertainty of even keeping her little miracle. She can’t do this to Genji. How will she even tell him?

If she loses this baby. She will lose a part of her. Genji will… oh he’ll hurt.

Ana lets her cry, holding her hands until they stop shaking. 

*

Her bones creak with a weariness she hasn’t quite felt before. As deep and heavy as cement. The fear soaking into her ribcage of losing her baby. The stress of pregnancy wrecking her hormones and making her simply tired. This news should bring joy, but it only make her doubt what she already has. Will she get to feel movement inside her belly? Will she be round and glowing?

The bed presses against her body. She’s barely managed to slip into soft clothes before collapsing on top of it. Curling her knees into her chest, Mercy closes her eyes. Her breath slow and heavy.

It’s a gradual thing. A weak dream hanging onto her fingertips. Sliding her hand down her stomach, she stills, before closing her eyes.

Her fingertips pull at her shirt, lifting it slightly to get her nails underneath the waistband. Resting on her skin, familiar, but different. Hers, but not.

She doesn’t feel a bump, just her belly. Yet her heart flutters, letting herself hope of a child with dark hair and brown irises like Genji’s. Small and pure. Making small babbling noises while fishing for a finger to wrap their tiny hand around. The small baby sleeping in her arms, while Genji looks over her shoulder, telling her how beautiful they are.

This baby is here. This baby is hers and she will keep them. Her denial will not help her or the small child growing inside of her. It’s time to let herself smile for this heavenly gift instead of deny it.

With her palm on her stomach, she breathes out.

“My baby.” her voice wavers in either a quiet laugh or sob. “My little  _wunder_.”

*

The black and white grainy photo trembles in her hand. Forcing her to calm her nerves and settle her heartbeat. Her breaths are deep and controlled, holding back the rushing of air.

He sits on the bed, cross legged with the smallest rise to his chest. The mask is at his side, letting her see his close eyelids and marred skin. Stepping lightly but knowing he’ll hear her presence, she goes to the edge of the bed.

“Heart,” She says, both hands clutching the photo against her chest as he opens his eyes. A small smile brushes his lips as he looks up to her.

“Anglea,” he speaks, “I can see your brightness even with my eyes closed.”

Her heart flutters as he moves to stand, but her words make him still.

“I tested my blood today, to look for any abnormalities relating to the morning vomiting.”

The serious sets in his eyes, looking to her.

The photo presses against her heart. Giving her courage.

“And in the results there were hormones found only in pregnant women.” She whispers, feeling strength came from somewhere else entirely. The baby, her baby, although still growing is truly with her.

“Pregnant…” He whispers, his body stilling into a statue as his sepia irises hold her. His mind trying to think over it all. The morning sickness, and the time they’ve spent together. But her colleague declared her infertile.

Mercy feels her eyelids tremble with tears. Hardly able to speak as she reveals the photo in her hands.

“I went to Ana, and she help me get this.”

Genji’s hands cup hers, moving her and the picture closer as she stands beside the bed. The edge of his legs touching her thighs as he sees the black and white photo. Loosening one hand from his cool touch, she points at the small white rounded figure in the photo.

“That’s our baby.”

The breath she breathes those words on are shaking and nearly inaudible, but when its finally comes free her chest lightens. A thousand possibilities and unknown futures lying ahead of them, but with their baby. With the child she now carries inside of her. The baby she somehow, miraculously, is able to have.

“My angel…” He looks up to her, eyes wide in disbelief with his brow ceased in untouched hope. “I thought…”

“I don’t know how, heart.” She breathes out, nearly breaking on the words. “But I’m pregnant.”

His hands take the photo, still gazing at it as he sets it aside before taking her hands. The softest smile graces his lips as he tugs her closer. Cool fingers shift to her hips, his forehead touching her stomach as Mercy holds back a sob. Her husband feeling her belly, feeling her baby.

“ _Watashitachiha akachan ga iru_.” The words settling into Mercy’s soul as he presses his cheek to her belly. Her hands rub across the back of his head, touching his hair and feeling his warmth.

“Our little  _wunder_.” Mercy speaks, feeling so much stir inside her that she can only let it carry this happy moment. “Our little miracle.”

His hands hold her hips, but his thumb circles around her bellybutton. Nearly humming against her skin.

“You’re going to be a beautiful mother,” he whispers.

She giggles, soft and quiet but it fills her chest.

“Oh Genji. The little  _wunder_  will adore you.” She says, bending down and saying it in his hair before kissing his head.

He shifts, standing up. One hand rests on her stomach. Flat and calm against her skin. Though she does not have a notice bump to her body, he still presses it there. Leaning his forehead against hers. Breathing in and letting the joy soak in.

“My angel,” He whispers, looking into her eyes with a gentle grin. “Always preforming miracles.”

**Author's Note:**

> Wunder — Miracle
> 
> Watashitachiha akachan ga iru — We’re having a baby


End file.
